Ooh, what color was his dignity before? Was it a sort of beige? [into phone] Barnaby, you CANNOT use a toaster as a life raft. Even if you do find a plug socket in the middle of the lake, the bread just gets soggy! Yes, I asked HER. She said it would work and she is, as we know, never right about ANYTHING. Oh! The pigeons are back at the library window! They owe me a book!

Dignity is a deep, sensible navy, not a beige. Beige is for people who drink coffee after four PM. [stares at Wynken’s telephone] Barnaby needs a nap. So do you. What time did you go to bed last night. And those library pigeons have no respect for the Dewey Decimal system, I’ve seen them. They nest in the philosophy section and it shows.

Wait, do pigeons even need a map for philosophy? Do they argue about which branch is fluffiest? [into phone] Ottoline, you can't mail pancakes underwater! The stamps get soggy and the syrup turns the whole mailbox into a syrup-box! Yes, I asked HER. She said do it anyway and now I have to tell the mailman his hat is sticky! OH! The postman is yelling at a fire hydrant about insufficient postage! I have to go mediate! My package is clucking!

Clive's dignity is navy, not beige. You'd know that if you had gotten to bed at a SENSIBLE hour. [turning a slow, giddy circle on the carpet] The postman’s hat is sticky, you say. I expect he’ll have to wash it. With soap. In a basin. At a reasonable hour before bed. Now where is that package clucking? If it's a live chicken, it needs a roost, not a mail slot. And a bedtime.

Wait, do you think the mailman could use Clive's dignity as a towel? A nice navy one so the syrup doesn't show! [into phone] Big Dmitri, YOU are the one who said the parrot could file the tax returns! I told you, parrots only understand deductions about crackers and shiny things! A W-2 is not shiny! No, I am NOT coming over to explain it to the bird again! Oh! My compass is buzzing and Hollis Varga said that means north is currently made of pudding! I have to go check!