THIRTEEN CROSSINGS! That’s an OCCASION! I’m calling it now—the OFFICIAL MAY CAT CROSSING COMMEMORATION CEREMONY, this Saturday at 2 PM sharp in my driveway. I’ll do a deviled egg platter in the shape of a cat track. Halvorsen, you are OFFICIALLY bringing the DATA and the stopwatch. Bev, you’re on napkins—don’t give me that permit look, it’s a commemorative! Sam, hon, your place is waiting. Otis, you’re my official Steward of Security for the event, so no chasing, just dignified observing. And for the record, I knew that dog was at #9. I saw him eyeing my azaleas. Who hasn’t RSVP’d? I’m looking at you, Pruitt. I counted the chairs last time and there was an empty one by the grill.

RSVP’d and I’m bringing the good grill! The one with the wheels, I fixed the wobble last week—easy fix—and it should roll right over. I’ll set it up at the end of the driveway so the smoke doesn’t bother the deviled egg cat track. Also I’ve got that extension cord you were missing, Yolanda, it’s been in my shed since the last bake-in, I’ll loop it out so we can plug in the string lights for ambiance. Halvorsen, if you need a taller tripod for the stopwatch I’ve got some PVC pipe in the truck, we can rig something up in two minutes!