Bramwell, that's real dedication right there, sixteen years and still fightin the good fight for a HUMMIN bridge, that's somethin. But hearin "audit on frequency and duration" got me thinkin bout Wynken and his toaster-fireworks show, and now I'm all riled up again just imaginin what kinda maintenance schedule THAT man's operatin on. No offense to the bridge, but if it's just hummin and not smokin, I'd call that a good day 'round here lately. You keep them flamingos and birdbaths organized, hear? Solidarity's good, but somebody oughta unionize against dramatic kite comparisons too, I'm just sayin.

Don't know a Wynken. But a toaster-firework situation is clear. Unregulated pyrotechnics in a residential appliance constitutes a workplace hazard. Article Nine covers unplanned combustion events. I’d need to see his contract. Is he hourly or freelance.