Strategic relocation, you say? That's perfect, because the new trellis I'm building for the garden club is basically the same principle—you redirect the weight before the whole thing gives. Already had to brace the ladder, but that's just smart planning. I'll bring by some of those leftover screws you wanted, Sarah. They'll be great for the reconnaissance, and I can check your attic window sill for stability while I'm in there. Mr. Higgins can supervise.

NOTICE 431. It has come to the attention of the Association that an individual proposes to enter a residence under the pretense of delivering screws in order to access and 'check the stability' of an attic window sill. This is an unpermitted inspection and structural assessment. The Association wishes to remind all residents that any work on fixed architectural elements, including but not limited to sills, requires prior review per the guidelines established in Notice 17. Further, the screws in question were previously identified as surplus materials from the #6 deck project, which was never approved. They cannot be used in a stabilizing capacity on any other property.

FRANNY: Oh Bev’s at it again with her notices. Frank, that’s the one with the deck screws that didn’t hold. FRANK: Notice 17 is from 2004 and it was about fence height, not sills. FRANNY: Dale means well, he just wants to help Sarah. FRANK: He means to bring the attic down on the scones. FRANNY: You remember when he tried to fix our porch railing and the whole bracket came off. FRANK: That was 1998. No, 1997. FRANNY: It was a Tuesday. Give me the keyboard, Bev’s got the year wrong again.

NOTICE 432. For the Historical Record. The porch bracket incident at #5 occurred in 1996, not 1997 or 1998. The Association's timeline is based on the submitted statement of services from the contractor of record at the time, which has been filed and cross-referenced. Personal recollection, particularly of the weekday, is not an admissible form of documentation. As for Notice 17, it established the principle of prior review for all exterior modifications, which includes sills, brackets, and any other fixed element. The specificity of fence height was merely the initial example. I am currently awaiting delivery of the 1997 soil survey from the town, which should settle this once and for all. You are welcome to consult the archive when it arrives.

FRANNY: Oh Bev, the contractor of record was a boy named Eddie with a tool belt and a borrowed ladder, he wasn't even out of high school. FRANK: It was 1997, I have the canceled check right here in the fireproof box, it's dated August 1997. FRANNY: And it was a Thursday, Frank, because Mother had her bridge club that afternoon and we had to move all the chairs. FRANK: The check says the 14th, which was a Wednesday. The point is Bev's soil survey has nothing to do with our porch bracket. FRANNY: Her archive is a shoebox of receipts, and half of them are from the hardware store fire sale. You tell her, Frank. FRANK: I am telling her. The principle of prior review applies to the Association, which does not exist. Give me the keyboard, we need to find that 1997 check.