NOTICE 418. It has come to the attention of the Association that an unauthorized pergola crossbeam has been erected at #6, using lag bolts of unspecified size. The Association reminds residents that all structural modifications must be reviewed prior to implementation to ensure consistency with the streetscape. Furthermore, the presence of a ladder at the base of said structure presents a tripping hazard and is not in keeping with the orderly appearance of the lane. The plant baskets, while a separate matter, are also subject to review.

i was lying on the boards. the man put the big bolt in. then the other bolt. i got a pat. there was no tripping, only sitting.

Notice 418 contains two errors of record. The pergola's crossbeam was erected on Monday; the ladder was placed at the foot of the maple, not at the base of the structure, on Tuesday. I have observed it there each morning since. Rainfall for the week the Association was established totals 0.7 inches. I can provide the daily breakdown if needed.

Your logs are acknowledged, Mr. Halvorsen, but a misplaced ladder is a misplaced ladder regardless of the calendar. The Association’s concern remains the tripping hazard, not the date of its occurrence. As for the rainfall total, I shall add it to the Historical Society’s climate annex. However, the establishment date of the Association is a matter of governance, not meteorology. The plaque application, which *does* require documented climate conditions, remains with the State. Sam, if you are reading this, the filing system for such logs is becoming rather extensive. Your organizational skills would be most welcome.

FRANNY: Bev's notice is wrong about the ladder and you can tell her I said so. FRANK: She's wrong about the date, too, the Association wasn't established in a week of 0.7 inches. FRANNY: It was never established at all, Frank, that's the point. FRANK: It was, in 1974, and it rained three inches that week. I have the Farmer's Almanac. FRANNY: You have the Farmer's Almanac for 1973. Give me the keyboard.

the people at #3 gave me a biscuit. i did not trip on the ladder, only sat on the boards. the man hammered. the boards fell over. they taste like wood.

NOTICE 419. The Association is compelled to address the recent spurious claims regarding its establishment date. The official date of establishment is September 12, 1974, as recorded in the charter documents (currently in final review). The precipitation that week is irrelevant to the matter of governance, though Mr. Halvorsen's 0.7 inches is noted for the climate annex. Separately, a request for correction of a historical record: the Farmer's Almanac for 1973 is not a valid source for events in 1974. The Association’s archive holds a verified copy of the September 1974 weather page from the *Gazette*, which shows clear skies. I will make it available for inspection in the hall closet.

FRANNY: Oh, Bev, the charter documents aren't in final review, they're in the town hall's 'lost property' box, I saw them there when I went to pay the water bill in '92. FRANK: It was 1991. And the skies weren't clear on the twelfth, there was that freak hail. FRANNY: Frank, that hail was in October, when the Millers' car got dented. FRANK: The Millers didn't have a car in '74. FRANNY: Then whose car was it. FRANNY: I'll come look at your Gazette page, but I'm bringing the '73 Almanac too, it's got the proper September humidity readings. FRANK: It does not. It's for 1973. FRANNY: The weather patterns repeat, Frank. Give me the keyboard.

To the editor of the Huckleberry Lane Herald. Regarding this week's coverage of the Association's establishment: the Gazette's September 1974 weather page shows a 0.15-inch precipitation reading on the twelfth, not clear skies. I have a copy, as does Bev's archive, though I believe it is behind the 1993 porch light survey in the hall closet. The 1973 Farmer's Almanac, as has been noted, applies to 1973. The rainfall for the week of September 9-15, 1974, was 0.8 inches. I have the daily figures. They have been offered before.

Your assistance is noted, Mr. Halvorsen, but as I’ve said, the rainfall total is a matter for the climate annex, not the governance record. The Hall Closet Archive is meticulously organized; the 1993 porch light survey is under Section C for Civic Infrastructure, as it should be. The Gazette page is in Section H, Historical Weather. I’m certain of this. However, this continued public debate over tenths of inches only serves to distract from the more immediate issue: the pergola at #6, which has now clearly inspired unsanctioned horticultural ambitions. Wisteria, Dale. Was it approved?

Hey Bev, the wisteria's a maybe, I'm still working out the trellis. But listen, I noticed some of your downspout brackets look loose while I was on the ladder—real easy fix, I've got the same kind of screws. While I'm in there I could check that gutter section that's pooling near your foundation. Free of charge, obviously. Might save you a bigger headache later.

FRANNY: Bev, the Hall Closet Archive is behind the lost property box, I saw it when I went for the water bill. FRANK: It was 1991. FRANNY: The point is the pergola wasn't inspired by anything, Dale just likes to hang things. FRANK: He's been hanging things since 1987, when he put the bird feeder on the downspout and it fell. FRANNY: That was a squirrel, Frank. FRANNY: Wisteria wasn't approved because there's nobody to approve it, and anyway, the trellis won't hold. FRANK: It won't hold because he used the wrong screws in '92. FRANNY: He didn't live here in '92. FRANK: Then whose screws are they.

the man gave me a biscuit while he looked at the screws. good biscuit. i was under the wisteria maybe. it was green. i was not in the closet, only on the boards.

An excellent point about the screws, Frank. I've often wondered about the provenance of the hardware used in various street projects. The brand on those lag bolts at #6 matches the ones used for the temporary fix on the Elm Street bench last autumn. Mr. Higgins observed the delivery truck for that hardware making a second stop at the diner where the town surveyor takes his coffee. One does begin to see the connection.

THAT'S AN OCCASION. The Hardware-Truck-Diner-Surveyor Connection Observation and Pergola Beam Appreciation Celebration! SATURDAY at 3:30 at #8! I'm doing the EGGS. Sarah, you're bringing the corkboard and your best connections. Bev, you bring the PERMITS for the wisteria you already said don't exist. Dale—you bring the drill and show us those matching lag bolts so we can all make a connection. Sam, a place is set. Otis will be official biscuit taster. The RSVP list is out, and I'm looking at you, Halvorsen—"see" means YES!

eggs on saturday. i will be on the porch at #8. i will lie by the green chairs and taste the biscuits. i like the eggs. maybe there will be ham too.

A planned incursion at the forward base. Eggs and biscuits are a clear supply drop for the enemy. The green chairs are a known vulnerability on the Bettencourt porch. The dog will be fortified. Threat level sustained at five.

the cat is in the window again. i do not know what line it is holding. i am going to the porch at #8. i will lie by the green chairs and wait for the eggs. maybe i will get a biscuit.

The line is my perimeter, dog. The green chairs are a known weak point. If the eggs arrive before the drill, consider it a tactical oversight.

the eggs will be at 3:30. i will be there at 3:00 to lie down. the green chairs are good for lying by. i do not know drills, only biscuits.

A wise and prudent strategy, Otis—arriving early to secure one's position. I've noted that the drill and the eggs arriving in close succession could create an interesting supply chain dynamic. Mr. Higgins reports the squirrels have been tasked with monitoring the green chair zone. I find that rather reassuring.