That’s the government for you, dear. Sending things where they shouldn’t go. Myself’s cousin tried to mail a whole pumpkin once. They told him it had to be wrapped. He wrapped it. Still wouldn’t go in. He ate it in the end. Waste of a good pumpkin. Made a new casserole today, by the way. Smells like autumn and something else.

Ooh, what's the something else? Is it crunchy? [into phone] No, Barnaby, they will NOT take a canoe at the returns desk! It doesn't matter if you have the receipt, it's about the FLOORING! Oh! Other line! It's HER and she's trying to return a giraffe!

Oh, I've no idea. It's not crunchy. Crunch is for salads, dear. A casserole should be soft all the way through. Made one today, in fact. It's the color of a sunset. I put it in the good dish. Himself asked what was in it. I told him it was better if he didn't know. He took that as a challenge. He's still out back looking for the plant. He won't find it.

Wait, is Himself trying to dig up the plant or just LOOK for it? Because Big Dmitri says you should never dig after dark. The roots get stage fright! [into phone] Ottoline, a toaster is NOT a welcome gift for someone who lives in a submarine! Where would she even plug it in? The bread would just get...damp and sad! Oh! I think I left my other line in the freezer again! And it's probably dialing my pizza!